A few weeks ago I got the idea to share the stories of our couple’s that have chosen to postpone their dream wedding day. My vision for this series was to share the hardships and the silver linings – Covid has wreck havoc on everyone’s life and I wanted to give people a sense of hope.
Meet our first couple to share, Aubrey + Greg –
Greg and I met at Ithaca College in the Spring of 2008. Greg had just returned from studying in London and I was about to live in Paris for the summer. Even though we only had a few initial days together, our chance encounter extended into a 12 year relationship. Within those 12 years Greg moved to NYC and then I moved to LA. While many of those years ended up being a lot of on again/off again while we were finding ourselves, we truly couldn’t shake each other no matter how hard we tried. So when Greg got a job in LA in 2015 I think both of us knew that this was it. Even then we took things slow, and it wasn’t until September of 2019 that Greg popped the question. It was one of the best days of my life and I was so ready to marry him and start our lives as husband and wife. We immediately started planning, we didn’t want to wait. But the universe clearly had other plans…when the pandemic came we never could have imagined it would become what it has. We were just about ready to send out our save the dates when we decided to hit pause and consider the state of things and the new reality of the world. If we did keep our October date, would we have to invite less people? Would we have to wear masks during our vows? Would my 80-year-old Nana be able to officiate or even attend? Would our friends from overseas be able to travel without having to quarantine? There ended up being too many what ifs for us to feel comfortable or safe moving forward. There were quite a few tears and some fervish back and forth emails with vendors, but all things considered we were lucky to have gotten ahead of it.
At first we were really heartbroken that we had to postpone and wait another 18 months. It felt unfair that we had seen so many before us get to have the day of their dreams, and that we were being punished in some way for waiting so long. But some beautiful things have come out of this process too. We’ve had some really amazing conversations as a couple about our commitment to one another and what a marriage really means. While a wedding is a certain right of passage that we’re excited to have, we know that it’s really just a celebration of our love that already exists and that is already growing and maturing and blossoming, no matter the piece of paper that will tell us it’s true. I also feel so blessed to have had the last four months with Greg, to be able to spend so much more time with him and for us to see each other in a new light. We had gotten so used to existing apart for long periods of time throughout our relationship, and this has given us the opportunity to take a breath and remember what is truly important.
I have gotten very used to our neighborhood strolls at dusk (the most we’ve left the house since March). I taught Greg how to make a proper cup of coffee (which he now deftly makes for me most mornings) and he taught me how to practice patience and calm after I put sweet potato peels down the garbage disposal…We get to be with each other in real time during work crises and watch every movie we haven’t seen. We’ve gotten laughing down drunk just the two of us, we’ve cried together during moments of anxiety and worry, we’ve protested, we’ve gotten to know our neighbors, we’ve gotten to know each other.